Some days you seem to know everything about what you’re doing and others you just can’t find the scissors to start cutting. I’ve had a string of those “I can’t find my scissors” days this summer, then the next thing you know it was fall, and I haven’t posted to this blog since June.
In May, I had a rather traumatic exit from a job that I thought I would be at for a few years at least, but it only lasted a few months. Long story short, I no longer felt like I was safe in my workplace, and I needed to get out. Fast. So I did, because sometimes you have to listen to your gut. Life is just too short.
Of course, there are always consequences. The way everything went down threw me into a deep well of self-doubt that lasted most of the summer that frankly, I’m still trying to shake. Part of that had to do with the way I was treated, and part is my own internalizing. As a person who makes their living being as a creative, I tend to be more critical of myself than I need to be. This can lead to some pretty negative thoughts. This time I’ve done something differently and really dug into those thoughts to try to make some sense out of it. Self-help, if you will.
One big help: the podcast Raise Your Hand Say Yes from Tiffany Han. (If you haven’t listened yet, get over there and do it. I’ll wait.) A HUGE takeaway I’m seeing from my listening (read: binging) is that every creative person on it talks about self-doubt and worry. Every. One. Worry that you are doing the right thing, that taking a leap will be worth it, that the unknown will be OK. It sounds corny, but knowing that others are feeling just as unsure as I am is very comforting.
Some good has happened from all of this, though. This fall I started teaching sewing at an after school program for elementary kids. I have been developing a class for new garment sewers and will be teaching that in January at Bay Quilts. I even have a little surprise, but I’ll leave that bit for later.
Check out the progress from one of my students. She’s 12! Can you believe it?
Plus, with all the free time I’ve had, I cleaned my studio. It had taken over, and the new storage bins have been a major improvement.
I’ll leave you with my mantra of the past few months.
Take a deep breath, center, and know that everything will be OK. Then go find your scissors and get to cutting.